Tag Archives: gamer
Fable 3: Well, shit.
Like I’ve said lately, I’ve been really into Fable 3. I like open RPGs. I like being able to wander around and do silly side quests.
On the other hand, I don’t like Fable 3. It was such a chore, and no game should be a chore! Let me bring it in, so I can give you some real reasons, instead of just rambling.
‘kay. This game is for xbox 360 and computers running a Windows OS. I’ve heard through the grapevine that its way choppier on the PC, but I didn’t play via PC, so I can’t verify that. It is, obviously, the third installment of the Fable series of open RPGs.
The purpose of this game is to take our money *cough* I mean, the purpose of this game is to de-throne our hero’s big brother, become the King/Queen and rescue Albion. Seems legit, right? I have to say that I actually enjoyed the main storyline for the most part. It was a bit rushed, and needed to be fleshed out some more, but I dug it. The opening scene was especially nice. The escape attempt of the chicken made me cry. Go here, you can see it on youtube.
Anyway, up through about the first half of the game, I was okay with the story, but then it all just went downhill out of no where. I don’t want to spoil the crappy ending for you, but it sucks, and I’m sorry.
The gameplay is what I need to address right now. Ugh. I’ve been putting it off. Even now I’m stumbling instead of addressing the issues. Okay. I’ll do it.
The gameplay sucks. It’s so bad. The character moves glitchy, the game randomly lags, the bread-crumb trail disappears, there are no menus. Like at all. Everything is managed through this ridiculous “sanctuary” but there’s no way to see what items you have, what gifts you have, or anything like that. Changing clothing has become a chore, and weapons are just as bad. In a time where we have the custom designs of Mass Effect and the story and depth and menu screens of Skyrim, I feel like they could have stepped it up a notch. What the story made okay, the gameplay destroyed. It made the game awkward and frustrating. I couldn’t even pick my expressions to use on the locals! Arg!
The graphics are decent, but you’ll never notice them because we have our eyes on the breadcrumb trail the whole time, rather than paying any attention to the pretty scenery. I like the trail, though, because I’m the kid who gets lost EVERYWHERE I go… I mean, like, all the time. I’m the reason people used to make those awesome text based maps of JRPGs back in the day.
As for the expansions.. There was only the one expansion. It sucked. Once again, the story is okay, but not great, and the achievements are disturbingly easy to go in and get. I finished this expansion at 100%, and this is only the third game I’ve been able to do that for. I didn’t get 100% on the full game (yet) but I’m working on it. There are some achievements that may require that I play through again for, and I’m not so sure that I’m in the mindset to try this again right now. I really liked the last one, and was looking forward to this blowing my mind. No such luck.
There is no replay value. None.
I picked this up at Half.com for about $1 plus shipping, so it wasn’t a bad price, and I think it was worth that much. I like the characters. (I don’t like the knight guy, but other than him they’re good.) I like that most of the achievements weren’t crazy hard. I liked half of the story. I do still have issues with closure, which I addressed in the last post, but for the most part its worth a dollar.
2.5 out of 5 stars. For anger. And no menus.
Zelda: A Link to the Past
Ok, so its been a while. I suck. I’m sorry.
Anyway, this is what I’ve been up to for the past couple of days:
I know that it’s sort of old school, but I prefer my games pixelated more so than in full 3d giving me headaches. I guess that’s why they’ve told me to take on the retro gaming section, huh? So, what I’ve been playing is this game. It was actually the first video game that I ever owned, and I was VERY young, so the game was VERY hard. Like, so hard that I never actually beat the thing. So, I realized that I’d never actually seen the end of the story yesterday, so I’ve decided that I’m going to go back through the game. I’m amazed at how much fun the game actually is. There is a continuous story, the graphics are pretty neat-o (makes me want to do more hama beading, but I think Lee might actually kill me if I start doing that little hobby again…) and I really dig the music. It makes me think of my childhood sitting on my blowup plastic chair in front of my 18″ TV eating lots of Flaming Hot Cheetos and trying my damnedest to make it through the story of this very difficult game.
Now, mind you, this was when I was much younger, thus the game is not as hard as it once was to me, but I have to say that when I get stuck, the internet is a nice thing to have. Back in those days I didn’t have the internet, so I had to figure it all out all by my lonesome. (I’m sounding older by the second…)
So, I’m already at the point of Hera’s Castle (A point that I never achieved before, so everything from here on out is new and exciting.) I’ve gotten the first 2 pendants, and I’m off in search of the 3rd. I’m getting super pumped about this game now. 
I just thought that I should update you all on what’s going on. And I’ll do an official review of the game when I’m completely done with it, but as of now, just know that I’m now a true Zelda fan… I can’t believe that I’m saying that…
Game Developer after my own heart
I hear that Kotaku doesn’t like him. They can go fuck themselves.
I adore him. And thank the cosmos for him.
I was on stumbleupon and I read this article about this man. He is an indie game developer who has made quite a bit of money, who has retained his philosophical position and basically said that the video game industry is a bunch of fucktards who profit from the same cookie cutter bullshit games.
Read the article. I linked to it, and its really amazing. Seriously.
SNIPER ELITE V2: Brofist
At first glance, I was not at all thrilled about downloading this demo. And as soon as I got started working toward downloading it, I went through all manners of hell to get the damned thing to download. I ran out of space on my xbox. (Then I realized I had kept each INDIVIDUAL save file from Bioshock…) After getting through all of that nonsense I sat back and I looked at the cover art of this game.
It looks like Brofest 2012 on this cover.
I suppose the cover is to make you feel like a badass while you’re out shooting pixels at guys represented by pixels. Sure. Striking angles with a gun in your face. Yeah!!
Anyway, I found that the font was wayyy too tiny, I couldn’t read anything. I like the way that they have someone telling me what is going on instead of throwing me into a shitty combat situation with a general trying to explain everything with bombs going off around me.
I think they did a really good job on the graphics in this. I know it isn’t technically first-rate, but I thought they were beautiful. The textures were great, all the way through the gaudy wallpaper on the walls of the demolished homes. (Which, in their defense, totally would have actually been on the walls during that time period. People like what they like.) The fires were pretty. Too pretty. I think my screen might be on fire…
Because this is a sniper shooter, there is a strong resemblance to Splinter Cell, in that you suck nuts at hand to hand combat, but from afar you’re really good, and you can sneak around like a B.A. The markers are decently helpful, but since it’s a demo I would have thought that there would be a bit more direction about where we’re supposed to go, what we’re killing, and why. The little blurb at the beginning of the level was helpful, but not perfect. The slow motion kill when we killed in cover was really cool looking, and I felt a little more sweet upon performing it. I think it happens whenever you shoot someone under cover.
The guys you kill can take quite a beating, too. 3-4 ill placed bullets, or 1 in the head. Oh, and it’s a 3rd person shooter, so I can actually play it without getting sick!! Oh, and the ability to hide the bodies was really freaking cool!
I guess I shouldn’t judge a book by the cover. I had a fun time playing, and if given the chance I might actually borrow it from Redbox.
Technology— up, up, and away!
Technology, the REAL final frontier. Today, instead of focusing on a movie that I went and saw (because we fell off the bandwagon this week and didn’t see one on Tuesday as we usually do) I want to talk about tech and the quickly moving world that it has given us. And how jaded we’ve become because of it.
When I look at some of the old school games that I’ve been playing lately I can’t help but think about how far the game industry has come. Back in the day, when I earned a cinematic cutscene I was so proud of myself! The art in a cut scene would be so much more beautiful in the cutscene than anything we would see in the game, and we worked hard for those cinematics.
Today, those scenes are in High Definition, sporting 1080p LCD craziness (terms that don’t really even mean anything to me.) When I walk through the tech section at the local store, it blows my mind how cheap an HD TV has become. We don’t even flinch at the difference in quality anymore, we just know that we want it, and we want it now.
My microwave has an LCD screen. This blows my mind. I wonder where it will take us? Are there repercussions to the speed in which tech moves? Will we start having trouble keeping ourselves employed because of how quickly we have to relearn? As video games advance will we have problems adapting?
I know I already have issues with FPS’s because I get motion sickness. As we move toward 3D graphics, will I start to have issues with that, too?
….Yes, these are the things that I think about when I’m supposed to be sleeping.
John Carter
You know what was a surprisingly fantastic movie? John Carter. I was expecting it to suck. I admit it. Most of the time book-to-movie adaptations are awful, but this one was actually pretty legit. Apparently, this poor movie has been in production hell for the past 60-some-odd years before it was finally picked up by Disney and FINALLY transformed into the blockbuster that it became. The shame is that the movie came out so many years after the people who were into the books read them.
The main character, John Carter (funny, neh?) is a slightly nutty guy out looking for gold when he stumbles upon a cave with a dead guy in it and a key. He touches the key, and suddenly he’s on Mars, fighting deserts, super-aliens and flying-machines.
As usual, he falls madly in love with a super-hot Martian and wants to be her one and only. He fights hordes of monsters in epic battles that only Disney can produce, and then all kinds of shenanigans happen until suddenly he’s sent home and has to figure out a way to get back to Mars (and back to his lady-friend.)
I really think this movie is worth it. It watches like an awesome action movie, but it has its founding in literature, which is always a nice thing to throw at the nerd in me.
I give it two thumbs up.
Batnipples
So, guys, we have recorded our first podcast! We are in the works of editing and getting everything set up for download now, and figured you might all be interested.
Here’s the show notes:
-Batman got pulled over for having no tags:
-I have an obsession of Batnipples.
-I ruined any chance I had of having fans, with my review of Skyrim (Matt did good though)
-We talked about how awesome Assassin’s Creed is going to be!
-The founding of Gamers.Dish