Tag Archives: chick gamer
Fable 3: Well, shit.
Like I’ve said lately, I’ve been really into Fable 3. I like open RPGs. I like being able to wander around and do silly side quests.
On the other hand, I don’t like Fable 3. It was such a chore, and no game should be a chore! Let me bring it in, so I can give you some real reasons, instead of just rambling.
‘kay. This game is for xbox 360 and computers running a Windows OS. I’ve heard through the grapevine that its way choppier on the PC, but I didn’t play via PC, so I can’t verify that. It is, obviously, the third installment of the Fable series of open RPGs.
The purpose of this game is to take our money *cough* I mean, the purpose of this game is to de-throne our hero’s big brother, become the King/Queen and rescue Albion. Seems legit, right? I have to say that I actually enjoyed the main storyline for the most part. It was a bit rushed, and needed to be fleshed out some more, but I dug it. The opening scene was especially nice. The escape attempt of the chicken made me cry. Go here, you can see it on youtube.
Anyway, up through about the first half of the game, I was okay with the story, but then it all just went downhill out of no where. I don’t want to spoil the crappy ending for you, but it sucks, and I’m sorry.
The gameplay is what I need to address right now. Ugh. I’ve been putting it off. Even now I’m stumbling instead of addressing the issues. Okay. I’ll do it.
The gameplay sucks. It’s so bad. The character moves glitchy, the game randomly lags, the bread-crumb trail disappears, there are no menus. Like at all. Everything is managed through this ridiculous “sanctuary” but there’s no way to see what items you have, what gifts you have, or anything like that. Changing clothing has become a chore, and weapons are just as bad. In a time where we have the custom designs of Mass Effect and the story and depth and menu screens of Skyrim, I feel like they could have stepped it up a notch. What the story made okay, the gameplay destroyed. It made the game awkward and frustrating. I couldn’t even pick my expressions to use on the locals! Arg!
The graphics are decent, but you’ll never notice them because we have our eyes on the breadcrumb trail the whole time, rather than paying any attention to the pretty scenery. I like the trail, though, because I’m the kid who gets lost EVERYWHERE I go… I mean, like, all the time. I’m the reason people used to make those awesome text based maps of JRPGs back in the day.
As for the expansions.. There was only the one expansion. It sucked. Once again, the story is okay, but not great, and the achievements are disturbingly easy to go in and get. I finished this expansion at 100%, and this is only the third game I’ve been able to do that for. I didn’t get 100% on the full game (yet) but I’m working on it. There are some achievements that may require that I play through again for, and I’m not so sure that I’m in the mindset to try this again right now. I really liked the last one, and was looking forward to this blowing my mind. No such luck.
There is no replay value. None.
I picked this up at Half.com for about $1 plus shipping, so it wasn’t a bad price, and I think it was worth that much. I like the characters. (I don’t like the knight guy, but other than him they’re good.) I like that most of the achievements weren’t crazy hard. I liked half of the story. I do still have issues with closure, which I addressed in the last post, but for the most part its worth a dollar.
2.5 out of 5 stars. For anger. And no menus.
SNIPER ELITE V2: Brofist
At first glance, I was not at all thrilled about downloading this demo. And as soon as I got started working toward downloading it, I went through all manners of hell to get the damned thing to download. I ran out of space on my xbox. (Then I realized I had kept each INDIVIDUAL save file from Bioshock…) After getting through all of that nonsense I sat back and I looked at the cover art of this game.
It looks like Brofest 2012 on this cover.
I suppose the cover is to make you feel like a badass while you’re out shooting pixels at guys represented by pixels. Sure. Striking angles with a gun in your face. Yeah!!
Anyway, I found that the font was wayyy too tiny, I couldn’t read anything. I like the way that they have someone telling me what is going on instead of throwing me into a shitty combat situation with a general trying to explain everything with bombs going off around me.
I think they did a really good job on the graphics in this. I know it isn’t technically first-rate, but I thought they were beautiful. The textures were great, all the way through the gaudy wallpaper on the walls of the demolished homes. (Which, in their defense, totally would have actually been on the walls during that time period. People like what they like.) The fires were pretty. Too pretty. I think my screen might be on fire…
Because this is a sniper shooter, there is a strong resemblance to Splinter Cell, in that you suck nuts at hand to hand combat, but from afar you’re really good, and you can sneak around like a B.A. The markers are decently helpful, but since it’s a demo I would have thought that there would be a bit more direction about where we’re supposed to go, what we’re killing, and why. The little blurb at the beginning of the level was helpful, but not perfect. The slow motion kill when we killed in cover was really cool looking, and I felt a little more sweet upon performing it. I think it happens whenever you shoot someone under cover.
The guys you kill can take quite a beating, too. 3-4 ill placed bullets, or 1 in the head. Oh, and it’s a 3rd person shooter, so I can actually play it without getting sick!! Oh, and the ability to hide the bodies was really freaking cool!
I guess I shouldn’t judge a book by the cover. I had a fun time playing, and if given the chance I might actually borrow it from Redbox.
Technology— up, up, and away!
Technology, the REAL final frontier. Today, instead of focusing on a movie that I went and saw (because we fell off the bandwagon this week and didn’t see one on Tuesday as we usually do) I want to talk about tech and the quickly moving world that it has given us. And how jaded we’ve become because of it.
When I look at some of the old school games that I’ve been playing lately I can’t help but think about how far the game industry has come. Back in the day, when I earned a cinematic cutscene I was so proud of myself! The art in a cut scene would be so much more beautiful in the cutscene than anything we would see in the game, and we worked hard for those cinematics.
Today, those scenes are in High Definition, sporting 1080p LCD craziness (terms that don’t really even mean anything to me.) When I walk through the tech section at the local store, it blows my mind how cheap an HD TV has become. We don’t even flinch at the difference in quality anymore, we just know that we want it, and we want it now.
My microwave has an LCD screen. This blows my mind. I wonder where it will take us? Are there repercussions to the speed in which tech moves? Will we start having trouble keeping ourselves employed because of how quickly we have to relearn? As video games advance will we have problems adapting?
I know I already have issues with FPS’s because I get motion sickness. As we move toward 3D graphics, will I start to have issues with that, too?
….Yes, these are the things that I think about when I’m supposed to be sleeping.
CyanideLollipop– The Prettiest Poison
Hey there fans of Gamer’s Dish! My name is CyanideLollipop, and I’ve just been let onto the team. I feel like I’ve finally made it into the big time! I’m 23, and I’m a student right now in business. I’m a super nerd, and I like to make art. I was given permission to go buck wild on this site and choose what I want to write about, which is this amazing (albeit intimidating) possibility.
I made a duck face just for you.
What you will get from me:
- Awful puns
- Fan-service
- Reviews of comic books and movies
- General Snarkiness
What I want from you:
- Like us on Facebook
- Tell me what I need to do to get better
- Comment and tell me ideas about things that you’re interested in
- A hug
So, I think we will all get along just fine. Later Gamers!
-N